Before we talk about the 3 keys to staying pure in singleness, let’s talk about the importance of purity. 

Purity is more than a personal standard; it’s a command of God for us. God calls us to be holy as He is holy (Leviticus 20:7, 1 Peter 1:16). God sent Jesus to die for us so that we may be made righteous before God, but we still have a duty to walk in purity in our covenant with Jesus. 

When we say yes to Jesus, we are saying yes to a marriage covenant with Him (to be one with God). 

My husband and I both came from past relationships where we fell into sexual immorality, so when we began dating, we were clear about setting boundaries to protect our purity. 

My husband (boyfriend at the time) didn’t even want to hold hands at first because forms of physical touch would be a temptation for him to fall into sexual sin.

Though this may sound extreme to some (as it did for me at the time), I am glad we did set boundaries because our purity matters to God. 

Here are some Bible verses on the importance of our purity: 

“…as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, ‘Be holy, for I am holy.”- 1 Peter 1:14-16

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” – 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

“For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.” – Ephesians 5:5

You are in a covenant even in singleness. Saying yes to Jesus is entering into a marriage with Him. Ephesians 5 paints this picture beautifully, comparing a husband’s love to Christ’s love for the Church. 

Purity is an act of faithfulness in our relationship with Jesus. Just like in marriage, God desires for us to be faithful to Him. 

So here are 3 ways to stay pure in singleness.

1. Let Jesus fill your heart

Living a pure life starts with knowing God’s love because we can’t love Him unless we first receive His love. We love God because He first loved us (1 John 4:19). 

Jesus gave up His life so we could walk in a relationship with Him. Even when we mess up, His mercy is available. True repentance leads us to walk in a way that pleases Him (2 Corinthians 7:10). 

As you grow in your relationship with God, you’ll begin to understand what love truly is because God is love. The very definition of love is found in Jesus. Throughout Scripture, we see His unconditional, relentless pursuit of His people and the gospel is the greatest example. Jesus gave His life so we could have eternal life with Him and live in true freedom.

The world often presents counterfeit versions of love through emotional dependence, sexual sin, or even pornography, but these things are bondage, not freedom or true love. The things of this world leave us empty, ashamed, and in bondage to sin, which leads to death (Romans 6:23). But Jesus came to set us free. 

His love breaks every chain, heals every wound, fills every longing, and leads us to eternal life. 

One of the most powerful illustrations of God’s love for us is found in Hosea 2:5–16. In this passage, God uses the story of Hosea and Gomer to show how even when we turn away from Him and chase other “lovers” (things, people, or sins that we place above Him), He still pursues us. 

In the book of Hosea, God tells him to marry a promiscuous woman. Gomer was a representation of what Israel was doing to God. Even though Israel was God’s chosen people, the Israelites rejected God by worshipping other gods.

Though God was angry at Israel, He still loved them and pursued them so that they might turn away from their sins and go back to God. 

God says in Hosea 2:14 I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there.”

God, too, is still pursuing us, just as He sent Hosea to pursue Gomer. Though we are all born into sin, God sent His only begotten Son, Jesus, to die for us that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16). 

God hates our sin, but He loved us so much to make a way for us to be made right before Him. It cost God His own begotten Son, suffering on the cross on our behalf. God willingly gave up Jesus because of how much He loves us. 

The greatest way for God to show His love to us will always be through giving Jesus for us.

It is through Jesus that we have eternal life. Jesus is the greatest gift of all. 

Ask God to give you greater revelations of His love for you through the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus. Posture yourself throughout the day to behold Jesus and receive His love. 

Maybe you are in a place where you feel distant and ashamed of past mistakes, or still stuck living in a cycle of sin. This is your time to answer the invitation of God to draw close to Him and let His love fill your heart. 

God allows things to be stripped away, not to shame us, but to reveal that He was and is the Only one who can satisfy us. 

You were created to have intimacy with Jesus. He’s not just your Master, but also your Husband (Hosea 2:16). Be rooted in God’s love daily. His love has the power to perfect you (1 John 4:18). 

2. Fill your mind with God’s truth

Spending time in the Bible is necessary for living a pure life. We need His Word constantly before us, hidden in our hearts, that we may not sin against God (Psalm 119:11). 

Proverbs 7:1-3  says, “My son, keep my words, And treasure my commands within you. Keep my commands and live, And my law as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; Write them on the tablet of your heart.”

The word “treasure” means to store up. God commands us to store up His Word in our hearts and make His Word as the apple of our eye (to be what we gaze and desire upon). 

Are you taking time to read, meditate, and memorize the Bible?

Instead of filling your time with scrolling on social media or binging on movies, why not replace it with time in God’s Word? Our desire to live a pure life will come as we choose to desire God’s Word. 

Psalm 119:9-11 says, “How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.”

The Bible makes it clear that in order for us to stay on the path of purity, we must obey God’s Word, but before we can obey God’s Word, we must first seek Him with all our heart and hide His Word in us. 

Below are some more Bible verses that show us how meditating on God’s Word helps us to obey His Word and be prosperous. 

“But his delight is in the law of the Lord, And in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, Whose leaf also shall not wither; And whatever he does shall prosper.” – Psalm 1:2-3

“I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts.” – Psalm 119:45

“Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” – Joshua 1:8

3. Guard your heart

Guarding our heart is so important to walking out purity in singleness. We can be filled with God’s Word, but if we do not guard our heart, we will be prone to fall into temptation. 

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Right after this verse, we can see how to practically guard our heart: 

“Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil” (Proverbs 4:24-27). 

Guarding your heart looks like guarding what you say, hear, see, think, and do.

Ask yourself these questions below:

-What tends to trigger your temptations?

-Are there specific times of day when you’re more vulnerable to temptation?

-What thoughts often lead you to fall into temptation in the past?

-Are there certain people or environments that trigger temptation?

Whatever your answers are from above, be diligent to guard yourselves from the very things that cause you to fall into temptation. 

If you are already struggling with letting go of your ex, don’t tolerate thoughts about them from the past. If lust is your area of weakness, be intentional about avoiding movies, music, or environments that promote promiscuity. Guard your heart and set boundaries to protect your purity.

Proverbs 5:8 tells us to not go near the door of temptation. How can you guard your heart to stay on the path of purity?

Empowered to live pure

As you reflect on purity in your single season, remember this: Jesus has set you free from the bondage of sin. The constant pull toward the approval of others, the craving for intimacy outside of God’s timing, even sexual sin itself are all forms of bondage. 

The world may try to normalize or glamorize it, but at its core, sin separates us from the fullness of life God intends for us. 

It’s addictive, it’s deceptive, and it leads to death, but the love of Jesus breaks every chain.

Some of you may have struggled silently with things like pornography or sexual compromise. You’re not alone but freedom is possible. The love of Christ doesn’t just cover you; it heals, restores, and calls you into deep intimacy with Jesus. 

My prayer is that you begin to see the Lord as your Husband, especially in this season of singleness. Maybe that’s a new idea for you, but it’s a biblical one. God desires to love you fully, faithfully, and tenderly. No earthly relationship can match the depth of His love. When you begin to live from that truth, purity no longer feels like an obligation becomes our devotion.

You are loved, pursued, and chosen. Jesus’s love is enough to perfect you. 

“Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” – 1 Thess 5:23

I share more of my testimony and how I learned to embrace singleness in my book, Single but in a Relationship with God. My heart is to help you find God real in your everyday life and embrace this season without settling for less than God’s best.

Which of these points did you find helpful for your pursuit of purity in your single season?

Get the Single but in a Relationship with God book to help you embrace your singleness without settling for less than God’s best

Please consider donating to the ministry if you have been blessed. You can do so by clicking here: GIVE

Every dollar counts towards spreading God’s truth and sowing seeds worldwide. Help us reach more lives with the gospel of Christ.

My ex was everything I thought I wanted. He met so many things on my list, but he was not the person God wanted me to be with. I unfortunately disobeyed God for close to three years and stayed in the relationship even though God had already shown me that I needed to leave.

When I finally obeyed God and broke up with him, the first two months were the hardest.

I missed him.

I was tempted to text him.

I wondered if I would ever meet someone else I was attracted to who also loved Jesus.

Looking back, I am so glad I did obey God. I am now married to an amazing man of God who loves Jesus. I am attracted to him, and our life callings align with one another.

So if you are struggling to get over a breakup, know that you’re not alone and know that obeying God will always be worth it.

Here are five things that helped me get over my breakup and embrace my single season with God that I believe will help you.

1. Don’t replay memories in your mind from the past

I remember lying in bed and thinking about the times my ex and I went to Disney, cooked together, or simply spent time together. Those memories made me miss him and question whether I should have let the relationship go.

I ended up getting back together with my ex after a few months of our breakup because I chose to replay the memories of our past and allowed my heart to hold on to him.

You may still love your ex, but those feelings do not mean you need to return to the relationship. If God has given you clear convictions about leaving, keep those truths before you when you are tempted to look back.

Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

We need to renew our minds with God’s Word. To renew our mind means to replace our thoughts with God’s truth.

When a memory of your ex comes up, choose to replace those memories with God’s truth. You can meditate on verses that speak of God’s faithfulness to help you trust that God knows best.

I wrote Bible verses and reminders of God’s promises on sticky notes beside my bed during my breakup. These sticky notes were the first things I would see in the morning and the last things I saw at night. I needed those reminders because my boyfriend used to be the first and last person I would text.

Find Bible verses and promises of God to write down on a sticky note for you to practice renewing your mind with.

2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to “Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” When fear arises, remind yourself that God is faithful and that you can trust Him with your future. When thoughts like, “What if I never meet my future husband?” Keeps replaying in your mind, replace that thought with God’s Word. Here’s an example: “I thank you Jesus that you say in Psalm 37:4, as I delight myself in You, You will give me the desires of my heart. You know my desire for a husband and I trust You to bring Him at the right time.”

Keep God’s Word close so you have truth to turn to when your feelings and fears pull you back.

2. Don’t text your ex and try to stay as friends

Another reason I returned to my ex after our initial breakup was that we kept texting. We tried to be friends without being too close, but this stopped me from moving on and truly letting him go.

I understand how hard it is to stop talking to someone who was such a big part of your life. You may think that an occasional text will be harmless, but you are still playing with fire by still keeping in contact with him. (Side note: When you eventually do get married, your spouse will not want you to be friends with your ex anyways).

If God is asking you to let go, surrender the relationship fully. Continuing to text with the hope that you might get back together or stay as friends can make it harder to move forward in obeying God.

Proverbs 13:20 says, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” Who we spend time with influences us. For me, staying in contact with my ex kept pulling my heart toward a relationship God had asked me to leave.

Set boundaries that support your obedience to God. When you feel tempted to text your ex, reach out to a trusted friend who can pray with you and remind you of God’s faithfulness and promises.

3. Delete the photos

Deleting photos was hard for me. I wanted to keep those memories, but keeping the photos also showed me that there was a part of my heart still holding on to my ex.

I also found myself checking my ex’s social media to see how he was doing. Even after unfollowing him, I would occasionally look at his profile. I had to ask myself, “Why am I still peeking into the past?”

If you keep looking through your photos or checking your ex’s page, that shows you have not completely let him go.

Deleting the photos and stopping those social media visits were practical steps I needed to take, and I believe they will help you too. Ask God to help you release your ex and even the feelings you may have had in that relationship

4. Have access to community and accountability

During my single season, I joined a singles ministry at my church. The focus was on helping us become whole as single people, and I really needed that.

After those gatherings, someone would often encourage me or share something that reminded me to trust God. I remember coming home, and my mom would tell me that my face was glowing. I had joy again, even while I was walking through a difficult season.

I also had close friends who spoke truth, encouraged me, and prayed with me. One of my biggest breakthroughs came when I confessed my fear of singleness to a friend/mentor. After we prayed, I felt a heavy weight lift off me.

Hebrews 10:24–25 encourages us to keep gathering together and encouraging one another. We need people who will help us follow Jesus when our emotions make obedience difficult.

Find a church community or trusted friend you can be honest with. Let them know when you are struggling or feel tempted to contact your ex. Give them room to speak truth into your life and help you stay accountable to what God has spoken to you.

5. Run to Jesus as your source of love and strength

This was the most important part of getting over my breakup. I had to learn to run to Jesus when I felt lonely and needed love.

For the first few weeks, I tried to fill every weekend with plans. I would ask friends to spend all Saturday and Sunday with me because I did not want to be alone. Then one weekend, no one could hang out, and I sensed God asking me, “Gaby, am I not enough?”

That question led me to start spending my Saturdays at coffee shops with the Lord. I spent time in His Word, prayed, and learned that I could experience His love even when no one else was with me.

Psalm 34:8 says, “Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.” We experience God’s goodness as we take refuge in Him. When you are hurting, tell Him what is on your heart and invite Him to give you a revelation of His love.

There were days when I found strength in God, then woke up the next morning needing that strength again. I had to keep seeking Jesus. He became my daily bread (source of love, satisfaction, and strength I needed).

Psalm 46:1 says, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” God is present with you in this season. You can bring Him your sadness, your fears, and your desire to be loved.

I am married now, and while I have an amazing husband, he cannot meet every need in my heart. I still need Jesus. What God taught me in my single season continues to strengthen me today.

Getting over a breakup takes time. Keep seeking God, renewing your mind with His truth, and surrounding yourself with people who will encourage you to follow Him. You can learn to experience His love and find joy in your single season.

I share more of my testimony and how I learned to embrace singleness in my book, Single but in a Relationship with God. My heart is to help you find God real in your everyday life and embrace this season without settling for less than God’s best.

Which of these five areas has been the hardest for you? What are some tips you have used that have helped you get over a breakup? I would love to hear in the comments below.

Get the Single but in a Relationship with God book to help you embrace your singleness without settling for less than God’s best

Please consider donating to the ministry if you have been blessed. You can do so by clicking here: GIVE

Every dollar counts towards spreading God’s truth and sowing seeds worldwide. Help us reach more lives with the gospel of Christ.

For the longest time, I knew I had to break up with my boyfriend. God showed all the red flags. While my love for my ex was real, which made it hard to break up, I also had the fear, what if I stay single forever? What if I never meet someone I am attracted to who also loves God?

I remember sharing this fear with another friend, and she expressed having the same fears too. Now that I’ve helped hundreds of single women, I have learned that this is a common fear that many have.

So if you are struggling with the thought of being single forever, know that you’re not alone.

I want to help you through this blog to let go of the fear of being single forever. Here are 3 things to do when the fear of being single forever arises:

1. Acknowledge the Lie

When the thought, “Will I be single forever?” arises, you must acknowledge that this thought is a lie – it’s not true.

If your desire is to be married, I believe God will grant this desire as long as you are following Him (obeying and yielding to God’s process to mold you to be more like Jesus).

Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.”

To delight in God means you are seeking Him as your source of love and fulfillment. When we receive God’s love, our response is to love God back through our obedience (faithfully following Him) and spending time with Him.

God has a season for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1). God may be calling you to be single now because He wants you to be rooted in His love.

Stick to the process!

I share more about why God may be calling you to be single and the purpose of our “cocoon” season in my Single but in a Relationship with God book.

God will lead us to the right spouse if we will trust the process of God and embrace our single season and relationship with Him.

Don’t believe the lie that you will be single forever. Fear never comes from God; it comes from the devil. The devil is the father of lies (John 8:44). Rest in peace knowing that God is a good father who has good plans for us.

Don’t let your fears make you doubt God’s goodness. God knows best, and His timing is always perfect. Psalm 18:30 says, “As for God, His way is perfect; The word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him.”

When the thought, “Will I be single forever?” creeps in, remind yourself it’s a lie and instead, declare God’s goodness and faithfulness to bring the right spouse for you. The truth is, God has good plans for you. God says in Jeremiah 29:11, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

2. Seek God for a revelation of His love

As much as we all would love a partner to love, be loved, and do life with, know that you can experience a love like no other with Jesus. I share in my Single but in a Relationship with God book that God can love us through the 5 love languages (quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, and gifts).

Through my season of singleness, God opened my eyes to see that I didn’t need a boyfriend or husband to experience falling in love. God showed me that I could fall in love with Him and experience His love in a real way.

I learned to turn to God when things were tough and I had no one else to turn to. I went deeper into His presence and His Word.

Sometimes the only way to see God as our everything is to only have Him as our everything.

As I continued to seek God in my alone times, He revealed Himself and led me to scriptures or devotionals I needed. Jesus said in John 6:35, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”

I found God to be the daily bread I needed every day. He truly satisfies.

When the question “Will I be single forever?” begins to linger, remind yourself that you have your ultimate Husband and Lover, Jesus, whom you can seek for love and satisfaction. Isaiah 54:5 says, “For your Maker is your husband, The LORD of hosts is His name; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth.”

Don’t let your single season be a time of feeling dry and unsatisfied. You can press into knowing God more and asking Him to reveal His love to you through Jesus Christ. Jesus dying on the cross for our sins and resurrection does not have to be old knowledge–this can be a fresh and daily revelation of God’s love for us.

Ask God to give you a greater revelation of His love for you through Jesus.

“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:17-19).

3. Renew your mind with God’s truth

Lastly, I want to encourage you to renew your mind with God’s truth. It’s not enough to busy yourself so that you don’t tolerate the worries of, What if I will be single forever? If you keep yourself busy, the fear will only grow in your heart. You must practice renewing your mind with God’s truth (replacing your fears with His truth).

Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Transformation happens as we renew our minds with His truth. As we become transformed into the image of Christ, we can then see and testify to God’s good, pleasing, and perfect will.

What truths have you hidden away from your life?

This is the season to pick back up the convictions the Holy Spirit laid upon your heart. Conviction is meant to draw us back to the will of God.

We must renew our minds with God’s truth. Instead of entertaining our fears or desires, let’s entertain the truth that God is always faithful and always has the best in store for us.

Put your faith in action, and discover how God can meet each of your desires. It’s not about what you know, but what you do with what you know.

God wants you to experience a love and joy that will fulfill you as a single person now and for your future.

So remember, when the thought “Will I be single forever?” arises, tell yourself that God is faithful and will bring the right spouse for you in His right timing.

Get the Single but in a Relationship with God book to help you embrace your single season without settling for less than God’s best

Please consider donating to the ministry if you have been blessed. You can do so by clicking here: GIVE

Every dollar counts towards spreading God’s truth and sowing seeds worldwide. Help us reach more lives with the gospel of Christ.