Will I be single forever? This was my biggest fear during my single season (and maybe it’s yours too right now).
For the longest time, I knew I had to break up with my boyfriend. God showed all the red flags. While my love for my ex was real, which made it hard to break up, I also had the fear, what if I stay single forever? What if I never meet someone I am attracted to who also loves God?
I remember sharing this fear with another friend, and she expressed having the same fears too. Now that I’ve helped hundreds of single women, I have learned that this is a common fear that many have.
So if you are struggling with the thought of being single forever, know that you’re not alone.
I want to help you through this blog to let go of the fear of being single forever. Here are 3 things to do when the fear of being single forever arises:
1. Acknowledge the Lie
When the thought, “Will I be single forever?” arises, you must acknowledge that this thought is a lie – it’s not true.
If your desire is to be married, I believe God will grant this desire as long as you are following Him (obeying and yielding to God’s process to mold you to be more like Jesus).
Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.”
To delight in God means you are seeking Him as your source of love and fulfillment. When we receive God’s love, our response is to love God back through our obedience (faithfully following Him) and spending time with Him.
God has a season for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1). God may be calling you to be single now because He wants you to be rooted in His love.
Stick to the process!
I share more about why God may be calling you to be single and the purpose of our “cocoon” season in my Single but in a Relationship with God book.
God will lead us to the right spouse if we will trust the process of God and embrace our single season and relationship with Him.
Don’t believe the lie that you will be single forever. Fear never comes from God; it comes from the devil. The devil is the father of lies (John 8:44). Rest in peace knowing that God is a good father who has good plans for us.
Don’t let your fears make you doubt God’s goodness. God knows best, and His timing is always perfect. Psalm 18:30 says, “As for God, His way is perfect; The word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him.”
When the thought, “Will I be single forever?” creeps in, remind yourself it’s a lie and instead, declare God’s goodness and faithfulness to bring the right spouse for you. The truth is, God has good plans for you. God says in Jeremiah 29:11, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”
2. Seek God for a revelation of His love
As much as we all would love a partner to love, be loved, and do life with, know that you can experience a love like no other with Jesus. I share in my Single but in a Relationship with God book that God can love us through the 5 love languages (quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, and gifts).
Through my season of singleness, God opened my eyes to see that I didn’t need a boyfriend or husband to experience falling in love. God showed me that I could fall in love with Him and experience His love in a real way.
I learned to turn to God when things were tough and I had no one else to turn to. I went deeper into His presence and His Word.
Sometimes the only way to see God as our everything is to only have Him as our everything.
As I continued to seek God in my alone times, He revealed Himself and led me to scriptures or devotionals I needed. Jesus said in John 6:35, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”
I found God to be the daily bread I needed every day. He truly satisfies.
When the question “Will I be single forever?” begins to linger, remind yourself that you have your ultimate Husband and Lover, Jesus, whom you can seek for love and satisfaction. Isaiah 54:5 says, “For your Maker is your husband, The LORD of hosts is His name; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth.”
Don’t let your single season be a time of feeling dry and unsatisfied. You can press into knowing God more and asking Him to reveal His love to you through Jesus Christ. Jesus dying on the cross for our sins and resurrection does not have to be old knowledge–this can be a fresh and daily revelation of God’s love for us.
Ask God to give you a greater revelation of His love for you through Jesus.
“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:17-19).
3. Renew your mind with God’s truth
Lastly, I want to encourage you to renew your mind with God’s truth. It’s not enough to busy yourself so that you don’t tolerate the worries of, What if I will be single forever? If you keep yourself busy, the fear will only grow in your heart. You must practice renewing your mind with God’s truth (replacing your fears with His truth).
Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Transformation happens as we renew our minds with His truth. As we become transformed into the image of Christ, we can then see and testify to God’s good, pleasing, and perfect will.
What truths have you hidden away from your life?
This is the season to pick back up the convictions the Holy Spirit laid upon your heart. Conviction is meant to draw us back to the will of God.
We must renew our minds with God’s truth. Instead of entertaining our fears or desires, let’s entertain the truth that God is always faithful and always has the best in store for us.
Put your faith in action, and discover how God can meet each of your desires. It’s not about what you know, but what you do with what you know.
God wants you to experience a love and joy that will fulfill you as a single person now and for your future.
So remember, when the thought “Will I be single forever?” arises, tell yourself that God is faithful and will bring the right spouse for you in His right timing.
Get the Single but in a Relationship with God book to help you embrace your single season without settling for less than God’s best
0 Comments