Staying pure in your single season can be hard with constant temptations all around. Learn the 3 ways to stay pure in singleness.
Before we talk about the 3 keys to staying pure in singleness, let’s talk about the importance of purity.
Purity is more than a personal standard; it’s a command of God for us. God calls us to be holy as He is holy (Leviticus 20:7, 1 Peter 1:16). God sent Jesus to die for us so that we may be made righteous before God, but we still have a duty to walk in purity in our covenant with Jesus.
When we say yes to Jesus, we are saying yes to a marriage covenant with Him (to be one with God).
My husband and I both came from past relationships where we fell into sexual immorality, so when we began dating, we were clear about setting boundaries to protect our purity.
My husband (boyfriend at the time) didn’t even want to hold hands at first because forms of physical touch would be a temptation for him to fall into sexual sin.
Though this may sound extreme to some (as it did for me at the time), I am glad we did set boundaries because our purity matters to God.
Here are some Bible verses on the importance of our purity:
“…as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, ‘Be holy, for I am holy.”- 1 Peter 1:14-16
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” – 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
“For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.” – Ephesians 5:5
You are in a covenant even in singleness. Saying yes to Jesus is entering into a marriage with Him. Ephesians 5 paints this picture beautifully, comparing a husband’s love to Christ’s love for the Church.
Purity is an act of faithfulness in our relationship with Jesus. Just like in marriage, God desires for us to be faithful to Him.
So here are 3 ways to stay pure in singleness.
1. Let Jesus fill your heart
Living a pure life starts with knowing God’s love because we can’t love Him unless we first receive His love. We love God because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).
Jesus gave up His life so we could walk in a relationship with Him. Even when we mess up, His mercy is available. True repentance leads us to walk in a way that pleases Him (2 Corinthians 7:10).
As you grow in your relationship with God, you’ll begin to understand what love truly is because God is love. The very definition of love is found in Jesus. Throughout Scripture, we see His unconditional, relentless pursuit of His people and the gospel is the greatest example. Jesus gave His life so we could have eternal life with Him and live in true freedom.
The world often presents counterfeit versions of love through emotional dependence, sexual sin, or even pornography, but these things are bondage, not freedom or true love. The things of this world leave us empty, ashamed, and in bondage to sin, which leads to death (Romans 6:23). But Jesus came to set us free.
His love breaks every chain, heals every wound, fills every longing, and leads us to eternal life.
One of the most powerful illustrations of God’s love for us is found in Hosea 2:5–16. In this passage, God uses the story of Hosea and Gomer to show how even when we turn away from Him and chase other “lovers” (things, people, or sins that we place above Him), He still pursues us.
In the book of Hosea, God tells him to marry a promiscuous woman. Gomer was a representation of what Israel was doing to God. Even though Israel was God’s chosen people, the Israelites rejected God by worshipping other gods.
Though God was angry at Israel, He still loved them and pursued them so that they might turn away from their sins and go back to God.
God says in Hosea 2:14 I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there.”
God, too, is still pursuing us, just as He sent Hosea to pursue Gomer. Though we are all born into sin, God sent His only begotten Son, Jesus, to die for us that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16).
God hates our sin, but He loved us so much to make a way for us to be made right before Him. It cost God His own begotten Son, suffering on the cross on our behalf. God willingly gave up Jesus because of how much He loves us.
The greatest way for God to show His love to us will always be through giving Jesus for us.
It is through Jesus that we have eternal life. Jesus is the greatest gift of all.
Ask God to give you greater revelations of His love for you through the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus. Posture yourself throughout the day to behold Jesus and receive His love.
Maybe you are in a place where you feel distant and ashamed of past mistakes, or still stuck living in a cycle of sin. This is your time to answer the invitation of God to draw close to Him and let His love fill your heart.
God allows things to be stripped away, not to shame us, but to reveal that He was and is the Only one who can satisfy us.
You were created to have intimacy with Jesus. He’s not just your Master, but also your Husband (Hosea 2:16). Be rooted in God’s love daily. His love has the power to perfect you (1 John 4:18).
2. Fill your mind with God’s truth
Spending time in the Bible is necessary for living a pure life. We need His Word constantly before us, hidden in our hearts, that we may not sin against God (Psalm 119:11).
Proverbs 7:1-3 says, “My son, keep my words, And treasure my commands within you. Keep my commands and live, And my law as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; Write them on the tablet of your heart.”
The word “treasure” means to store up. God commands us to store up His Word in our hearts and make His Word as the apple of our eye (to be what we gaze and desire upon).
Are you taking time to read, meditate, and memorize the Bible?
Instead of filling your time with scrolling on social media or binging on movies, why not replace it with time in God’s Word? Our desire to live a pure life will come as we choose to desire God’s Word.
Psalm 119:9-11 says, “How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.”
The Bible makes it clear that in order for us to stay on the path of purity, we must obey God’s Word, but before we can obey God’s Word, we must first seek Him with all our heart and hide His Word in us.
Below are some more Bible verses that show us how meditating on God’s Word helps us to obey His Word and be prosperous.
“But his delight is in the law of the Lord, And in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, Whose leaf also shall not wither; And whatever he does shall prosper.” – Psalm 1:2-3
“I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts.” – Psalm 119:45
“Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” – Joshua 1:8
3. Guard your heart
Guarding our heart is so important to walking out purity in singleness. We can be filled with God’s Word, but if we do not guard our heart, we will be prone to fall into temptation.
Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Right after this verse, we can see how to practically guard our heart:
“Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil” (Proverbs 4:24-27).
Guarding your heart looks like guarding what you say, hear, see, think, and do.
Ask yourself these questions below:
-What tends to trigger your temptations?
-Are there specific times of day when you’re more vulnerable to temptation?
-What thoughts often lead you to fall into temptation in the past?
-Are there certain people or environments that trigger temptation?
Whatever your answers are from above, be diligent to guard yourselves from the very things that cause you to fall into temptation.
If you are already struggling with letting go of your ex, don’t tolerate thoughts about them from the past. If lust is your area of weakness, be intentional about avoiding movies, music, or environments that promote promiscuity. Guard your heart and set boundaries to protect your purity.
Proverbs 5:8 tells us to not go near the door of temptation. How can you guard your heart to stay on the path of purity?
Empowered to live pure
As you reflect on purity in your single season, remember this: Jesus has set you free from the bondage of sin. The constant pull toward the approval of others, the craving for intimacy outside of God’s timing, even sexual sin itself are all forms of bondage.
The world may try to normalize or glamorize it, but at its core, sin separates us from the fullness of life God intends for us.
It’s addictive, it’s deceptive, and it leads to death, but the love of Jesus breaks every chain.
Some of you may have struggled silently with things like pornography or sexual compromise. You’re not alone but freedom is possible. The love of Christ doesn’t just cover you; it heals, restores, and calls you into deep intimacy with Jesus.
My prayer is that you begin to see the Lord as your Husband, especially in this season of singleness. Maybe that’s a new idea for you, but it’s a biblical one. God desires to love you fully, faithfully, and tenderly. No earthly relationship can match the depth of His love. When you begin to live from that truth, purity no longer feels like an obligation becomes our devotion.
You are loved, pursued, and chosen. Jesus’s love is enough to perfect you.
“Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” – 1 Thess 5:23
I share more of my testimony and how I learned to embrace singleness in my book, Single but in a Relationship with God. My heart is to help you find God real in your everyday life and embrace this season without settling for less than God’s best.
Which of these points did you find helpful for your pursuit of purity in your single season?
Get the Single but in a Relationship with God book to help you embrace your singleness without settling for less than God’s best
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